just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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