shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize