Texts From Last Night

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  (347): View more from New York

  i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties

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  (347): i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties http://tfl.nu/y66a
  Replies (16) Good night (1133) Bad night (613)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.

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  (806): My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do. http://tfl.nu/5eg0
  Replies (18) Good night (1303) Bad night (3747)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.

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  (757): It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable. http://tfl.nu/luie
  Replies (23) Good night (1728) Bad night (4373)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.

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  (757): It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean. http://tfl.nu/z8cg
  Replies (22) Good night (795) Bad night (4704)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.

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  (281): I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO. http://tfl.nu/9byh
  Replies (28) Good night (4377) Bad night (1087)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...

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  (913): It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason... http://tfl.nu/n9s7
  Replies (17) Good night (5357) Bad night (2064)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.

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  (810): You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight. http://tfl.nu/18uj
  Replies (4) Good night (3509) Bad night (987)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go

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  (205): She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go http://tfl.nu/6usw
  Replies (4) Good night (799) Bad night (2016)
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  (631): View more from New York

  yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?

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  (631): yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem? http://tfl.nu/eu3b
  Replies (21) Good night (3530) Bad night (1382)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop

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  (610): you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop http://tfl.nu/ld3s
  Replies (7) Good night (706) Bad night (1341)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup

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  (513): Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup http://tfl.nu/jbl9
  Replies (1) Good night (727) Bad night (468)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts

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  (203): I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts http://tfl.nu/mdva
  Replies (2) Good night (730) Bad night (392)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  But college guys get to crossfade so there's that

  (305): View more from Florida

  No idea what that is

  (408): View more from California

  Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...

  (305): View more from Florida

  I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words

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  (408): But college guys get to crossfade so there's that (305): No idea what that is (408): Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together... (305): I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words http://tfl.nu/rs53
  Replies (8) Good night (1551) Bad night (393)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.

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  (479): I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger. http://tfl.nu/svei
  Replies (3) Good night (662) Bad night (238)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.

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  (248): I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies. http://tfl.nu/rwik
  Replies (3) Good night (755) Bad night (255)

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