I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
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while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
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Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.