Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Writing my paper on freud at bar

(917): View more from New York City

??

(203): View more from Connecticut

Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children

(917): View more from New York City

Smooth

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(815): View more from Illinois

i never told you how having a club foot got me laid

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(251): View more from Alabama

how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?

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(386): View more from Florida

smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(214): View more from Texas

You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!

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(530): View more from California

Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.

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