i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war