with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
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