they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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