This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
