I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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