I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
