if you like me you must not know who I am
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
