well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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