Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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