It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
