Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize