this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
