I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
