420 ftw
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
