he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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