This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
