your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
return my video game
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
operation harelip BJ is a go
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
