The brown eye won't let me do that either.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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