At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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