dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
