Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
