I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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