All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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