Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize
