When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
