is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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