Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
