it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize