I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
