Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
He felt like a one man threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize