I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize