he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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