Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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