time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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