We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
