ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
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