I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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