There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
