I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
