on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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