i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
