Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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