I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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