I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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