I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize