piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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