I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
