I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
