I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
