My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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