Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
