the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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