My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
