Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
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