No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Randomize
