You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I want a musical about memes.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize