Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
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We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
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He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.