he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.