so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?