before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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