I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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